On October 26th you celebrated Land Hermit Crab Day to celebrate your utter fortune at owning your very patient and wonderful crustacean pets. Now, at Christmas we have decided that we shall not be forgotten as in previous years. Therefore, our Land Hermit Crab Union (LHCU) has put forward the following demands. No more shall our little hearts be broken on Christmas Day!

 

1. We want our own Christmas Stocking, filled to the brim with hermit crab treats for Christmas Day. We don't expect a GameCube or XBox, some simple home-made or crabified items will do. If it is good enough for the Dog and Cat (and other fuzzballs), then it is about time we got one too!

2. The 12 days of Christmas means a different meal every day. No more boring diet of paltry hermit crab cakes and scraps, quit hogging all that wonderful Christmas fare. To help you with some ideas we have compiled a sample menu, which will be available soon.

3. Instead of perfume for Mum, aftershave for Dad, why not buy the gift that keeps on giving - a bigger tank to display your gorgeous and devoted hermit crabs. While you're at it, why not 'deck the halls' with an artistic flair. Besides, we all know how sensitive we are to chemicals and strong scents of perfumes, aftershaves and deodorants. We don't mind what you smell like, as long as you don't taint our food or air with it! You can find some ideas here.

4. A selection of seashells for us to change into. Count how many pairs of shoes YOU have before deciding if we have enough. We cannot go to the mall every time the mood hits us, so we are dependent on YOUR fashion sense and practicality. Why not join up for the seashell exchange and exchange our castoffs for those of other hermit crabs. That way you will have more money for our next demand.

5. If you have already bought us everything we need or desire and wish to give to more needy hermit crabs, why not sign up with the Adoption Center and give some needy hermit crabs a home. We don't mind sharing, as long as there is enough to go around. If one of our comrades dies, do not simply go out and replace them without thought to our welfare and needs if there is a real reason for our brother or sister's death. Also, it may help to write our name onto a Sand Dollar, Seashell or decoration and remember us each year.

6. While you are spending your time with the friends and family, take time to make a fuss over us. Not only will our antics keep your guests enthralled (and away from the food, more for us!) but next Christmas they might bring something for us too! We love you Auntie Maryann, Uncle Craig and Cousin Sheri!

7. Last Winter many of our friends froze without heating and the right enclosure. We are tropical creatures and depend on you to meet our needs. Instead of purchasing some siblings for us, why not invest in a heater to keep the rest of us kids alive. If you don't live in the tropics, we need a heater and correct housing. If you really want to spoil us, why not make and decorate a Crab-Gloo and keep us cosy all year long!

8. Over Christmas, one half of the world is experiencing Summer, and with it insects such as flies, ants, roaches and other nasties. Make sure that there is no spraying of Fly Spray near the tank. If you do need to fumigate, please remove our tank from the room until it can be aired. At the least, cover our tank and keep us in mind when spraying anything into the air over the Christmas season and always.

9. While we know we are quite hardy pets and don't really ask for much, we do need the humidity within our crabitat to be kept an eye on. Rather than using the hair hygrometer (how frizzy your hair is), why not add a hygrometer to the list of essentials. Besides, you will notice how much more active and exciting we are when happy and healthy. If you needed to breathe through modified gills that needed to be kept moist, you'd be crabby about low humidity too!

10. Finally - Please, no more jokes about our abdomens! We realise that they may look gross as we change shells or streak about the tank on occasion, but just think what we would think of you if we caught you without coverings!

Signed,

the Land Hermit Crab Union

(who deserve a Merry Christmas too!)